There has been a lot to lose, but focus on what is now, and stay fresh in your mind, be brave, be bold, be courageous. Be hammocking and stop stalling.
Stop having trust issues, they are not serving you anymore, trust that there is something greater that keeps you going, stay fresh, stay clean cut perfect and be bravery on its own.
Stop believing everyone, they have their own perception, you have yours.
So trust that your dreams are worth it.